


cookies & wrathful jeremiah

by polyphobiaa



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Cooking, and instead transcribe my own cookie baking adventures., im sure lulu isn’t this impulsive in canon but let me have this, in which i have no idea how to do a characterization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 04:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13539990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polyphobiaa/pseuds/polyphobiaa
Summary: lup and taako pretend they know how to make food for thirty minutes. nothing is accomplished.yell at me about my mistakes: lightbvlb.tumblr.com





	cookies & wrathful jeremiah

Lup and Taako were making cookies.

Not for any specific reason. It’s not like it was someone’s birthday. Birthdays were kind of a weird occasion on the Starblaster anyways, because passing time didn’t really change anything. But it wasn’t. Anyone’s birthday, I mean.   
Mostly it was a boring day in a boring cycle.

So, cookies.

“You need to actually, like, measure shit, right?” Lup asked as Taako poured salt into the palm of his hand.

“Ch’boy’s got it, don’t worry,” Taako responded absentmindedly.

He did not, in fact, have it.

“Gods, how much salt is that?” Lup asked sarcastically.

“You want to know how much salt I’m using in these cookies? Feel it in the stars. In the calling of the void.”

“Taako. How much salt is that.”

“I don’t know, dude. Probably too much. It doesn’t matter.”

#

“It says add half a teaspoon of vanilla, right?” Taako checked the cookbook on the other side of the Starblaster’s tiny kitchen counter. 

“That’s a suggestion,” Lup shot back. “We’ve been cooking in here for thirty-two years, I think we know how to make cookies.”

“I’m gonna pour in the whole bottle of just to spite you now. You know that, right?” Lup almost grabbed it from Taako’s hands, but he pulled it away at the last minute.

“No you fucking aren’t,” Taako laughed. “This whole bottle cost fifty gold. You don’t get to pull that shit.”

There was a general pause of holy shit, fifty gold??? as Taako poured in what he thought was enough vanilla.

#

“Where the hell did I put...” Taako shuffled through the cabinets in an attempt to find the electric mixer.

“I get to use the mixer!!” Lup shouted almost immediately after Taako got it out. “He is mine. So it has been told. His name is Wrathful Jeremiah and he is my perfect beautiful boy.”

Taako snorted. 

#

“Holy shit this is the saltiest thing I’ve ever tasted,” Lup said as she ate some of the cookie dough. “I’m gonna need to drink, like, twelve glasses of water after eating this.”

“If it’s so shitty, why are you still eating it?” Taako riffed. 

“It’s cookie dough, and why would I not.” Lup paused. “Oh... shit. I hope you weren’t planning on actually baking this because under no circumstances is that happening now.”

“We’re just eating raw cookie dough?”

“Sure seems like it, huh?”

Taako shrugged. “Alright. I’m fine with that. We all knew this would happen. Give me some of that fucking dough.”

**Author's Note:**

> this. this is the first fic i’ve ever written. done in one day on my phone while i was very bored and it was very late at night. and since it is very late at night here it is, published to you. i am not the most proud of it but i had fun writing it.
> 
> this is based on a true story of me and my best friend struggling to competently make food.
> 
> talk to me on popular blue hellsite tumbo: lightbvlb.tumblr.com


End file.
